I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My life is pants optional.
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