I wish I could punch you in the face.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
