i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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