So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
