so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
50% drunk capacity currently
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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