I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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