I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
...so i touched it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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