he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
