We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
