Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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