was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
