He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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