y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
