I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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