I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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