He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
