so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
