the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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