she was so not down for the gang bang
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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