Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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