I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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