so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You were trust falling into bushes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
