is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
