Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
