There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
