Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
