question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize