At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Pooping to opera.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
