The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
