i already hear my dad disowning me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You made out with two different species that night
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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