The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
