I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
