Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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