So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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