he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize