I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
