She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
