yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
