the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
not ubering you a puppy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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