I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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