yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So vagazzling was a success
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
