Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
