She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
