At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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