Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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