she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
