I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize