Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Welp...herpes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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