Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
