How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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