she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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