just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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