just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
