Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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