you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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