life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know her cup size but not her name....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
