The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize