you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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