dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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