I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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