You can't special order awesome
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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