We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
